Does This Make Me Look Fat?

Recently I saw Kim Kardashian wearing an outfit, that even with her bod. well …. made her look plump.  Also my beautiful daughter  told me today she was about to partake in a new exercise regimen to lose weight and get into shape after getting married two months ago. ( I always thought you lose weight before  marriage.)

Is the MC Hammer look back in vogue?

Ahhh, so when the most insidious question a man in a relationship can ever hear ” Does This Make Me Look Fat??” What should you answer?

Many men say what’s on their mind, others reflect away, while  others understand to take a moment now to reflect on how they will answer that question before it is ever posed.

Even if you are super comfortable with your wife or girlfriend and you think you can say anything to her: You are wrong. There are always going to be certain things that men should never say to their wives or girlfriends about their bodies if they want to live to see tomorrow. Here are just some examples and instances of things you never want to say to your wife or girlfriend.

If a woman ever asks you if she looks fat or big in an outfit, never ever tell her “yes.” I don’t care if she looks bigger than an elephant in the dress, you never tell her that. Woman may say that they want the truth, but most women can’t handle it. If you really are embarrassed of something that your wife or girlfriend is wearing or she looks that bad in it, casually mention another dress or outfit that she has and tell her that it’s your favorite and ask her to wear that one instead. Almost 100% of the time, things are said during a fight with your wife or girlfriend that you never meant to say. They may be the truth or you may have just said them to hurt her feelings. One that you never ever want to bring up in a fight with your wife or girlfriend is her body. Don’t tell her that you think that she has gotten fat. Don’t tell her that she is ugly. Don’t say things like “your chest looks like a little boys” or “your butt is so big (insert insult here).” Telling her anything negative about her body during a fight is only going to get you  further in the doghouse. Believe, me woman may forgive, but they do not forget. So, if you ever plan on trying to be intimate with her again, you better control your temper and never say anything about her body during a fight. Never start off a sentence to your wife or girlfriend with “My ex had a..”  or “My ex’s (body part) was…” This is absolutely wrong and should never be done. Don’t ever compare your current wife or girlfriend to your ex especially when it comes to her body. Most women are quite self-conscience about their body and if you mention anything about your ex’s body, you can count on your current girl to never want to be intimate with you again. In fact, you may as well just look up your ex and try to get back with her.

Lastly, if your wife or girlfriend has never brought up plastic surgery to you, never ever bring it to them. Don’t ask them “Have you ever considered plastic surgery for that?” How would you like it if the situation was reversed and they asked you if you have ever considered plastic surgery for your beer belly or for your crooked nose you broke playing football?  Asking a woman about having plastic surgery is basically just pointing out her flaws and telling her to fix them to your liking. Remember that even though most woman do want to keep in shape and look good for their men, that you are not the only reason why we do it. We actually do it for ourselves some of the time. So, next time you are talking to your wife or girlfriend and anything about her body comes up, remember this: Think, then talk! Final note. Yes this post has too many pictures, after all, men respond better to visual aids. Plus I grabbed to many off the net and why let them go to waste?

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Posted by Eric on Aug 14 2009 Filed under FUNNY. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry