Men and “Alone Time”
One of the major differences between men and women, is the fact, that men of all ages cherish and look forward to a little alone time, for themselves, by themsleves. By no means does this suggests that women do not need such a downtime, but for the male species, this act of what could seem as selfish or not being in tune with their significant other is important to us.
A long day at work, means dealing with many different problems that arise, interacting with many different people whether clients or staff. Many put in a solid 8 hour day, many spend more time at work. So when we think of heading home from the evening commute, we do look forward to the fact we might get some time where we can sit back and relax our minds. It might come in the form of flicking on the TV, sitting at a computer, reading a book, working out or even hanging out in our garage, man-cave, or study.
Since working on this blog, I might be guilty of spending to much time on my own, no not might I have. But I do it because one, it is a hobby I enjoy, two, I don’t have to solve any major problems and three it lets me delve into a place where I am alone with my thoughts.
Thank god I have a very understanding wife who allows me this time and even though it has caused some ill feelings at times, the majority of the time, she knows I am doing something I enjoy and gives me this space. I love her dearly for this.
Yes we know the gutters need cleaning out, grass must be mowed, garbage taken out. We do not to try shun these duties, we just don’t need to be told they must get done, as we understand they do and will be.
Men are more visual creatures and some call us less emotionally in touch. But the fact is we do not need to go over every small detail of a subject to have formed an opinion already, right or wrong. And to us, the phrase, “no problem” stems form the fact we deal with them in our own time and hopefully to our other halfs satisfaction.
With the advent of football season upon us, this also constitutes that “alone times” I speak of. Just give us this period of time for ourselves and you will have a happy, contented man, who will give you his full attention when you need us to be there and to listen.
Related articles by Zemanta
- How Life Changes Once Football Begins (bleacherreport.com)
- Different Friendship Styles For Boys And Girls: Study (huffingtonpost.com)
![Reblog this post [with Zemanta]](http://img.zemanta.com/reblog_b.png?x-id=cc1e22d3-ebb9-406e-b5e1-c8f27e1fd92f)
Short URL: http://man-over-board.com/?p=1862
Posted by Glenn
on Sep 13 2009 Filed under OPPOSITE SEX.
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0.
You can leave a response or trackback to this entry
Abs King Scam
Camden
Lilly
Mike
Nicky
That I understand. However, I’m actually with a guy who doesn’t care for that alone time which I must admit, took awhile to believe. Hell, I still find myself saying go go chill, relax, etc and he is always telling me I’m kooky and I’m part of his alone time.
It’s a welcome change, I must admit. As I am currently not officially working (whatever that means lol) at the moment, so he comes home to my beanbag head, I smother him, then we pretty much chew on whatever is around like the vultures we are, followed by gaming/movie depending on the vibe. If I’m feeling up for a movie, I mention it and see if he’s interested..which he usually is, but sometimes he does just want to play the video games. That’s fine by me and I watch the movie solo and go about my merry way.
I understand the needs since when I last worked (which now feels like aeons), especially on those back to back 14 hour days, I just wanted to watch my favorite show or kill some bad guys on my pc/consoles. It was tiring while working, so the last I’d want to do is drag him to do something post a work day.
Out of curiosity, is it difficult for women to be part of the relaxation upon arriving home? I remember writing about something similar, and I believe you share what I imagined to be the case, where women are part of the chore instead of being a part of the relaxation, therefore you (men) require a break (tv, games, etc) from them as well before attending to them.
Forgive me if I am not clear, I seem to be going in loops today for some reason ;(
Everyone needs some time alone…or should I say most people.While men and women often have different likes and dislikes such as movie genres,video games vs. soap operas,etc. There is one important factor in a successful relationship.There has to be a balance between time spent together and alone time…without that balance lonliness creeps in…and the couple forms a distance between them.A truly healthy relationship thrives on the time you spend together whether it is dinner for two,vacations, or just snuggling together watching a movie or listening to a cd.Everyone needs to feel wanted…just keep that in mind.Its all about the balance.
I agree that we all need a time to relax and rewind from our day at work. Keep in mind that women also want to come home from a long day at work and just kick back and relax. The only problem is that we have to fix dinner and do all the other chores while you are kicking back relaxing. If there are children are they not allowed to come to you for help with homework. Forgive me if I’m not understanding clearly why one person has to burden all the immediate household responsibilities. What I do agree upon is that when both people work that they should come home and perform the necessary chores and then relax. After those are done you can happily go to your mancave and do what makes you happy.
I absolutely agree with your first line Glenn. Man are always dominant and says I can face all the problems all by myself unlike woman who needs someone to lean on.
This was a good reminder for me since football season is here. Giving my man space without guilt over the to-dos is a great daily life gift.
I cant say whether most men do the same but yes, I agree people who are creative love to be alone many times. May be dream the best partner for creative people.
Those who dream most, Do the most – They say.
Cheers !!!
Nice of you to share your thoughts. I enjoy reading the rumination of a man’s mind as it is a vital part of understanding who you are.
A persons private space is so necessary in their balance. Some need more while others need less. It is a vital part of understanding your partner and their needs.
You are very lucky in that your partner understands your need for that personal space.
So many partners miss the reasoning behind the need for personal space…they tend to take it as a need to be away from them when it has nothing to do with them.
I am similar with your desire of personal space as my entire balance depends on a certain amount of ‘me time’.
At the end of the day and just upon returning home, the last thing I need is a bunch of kids attacking me at the door with their needs from A-Z. My rule of thumb was…let me get in, my shoes off and 20 minutes to myself showering or whatever and then I am yours willingly.
When I was a child…one of 7…the house rule was…no one was allowed in the kitchen for 1 hour once my father returned home from work. He enjoyed his dinner with the company of my mother…then he was free for us.
As far as daily chores around the house.. even that needs to have a balance. In a relationship/partnership ..we must have acceptable understanding of what needs to be done and what can wait to be done.
Life is all about balance
Football season is here? Noooooooooooo!!! My husband is brilliant. He watches in our bedroom where his computer set-up is. He tells me he’s “sparing me” from having to watch it. This nets him hours of alone time, and good will from his wife. I know what he’s doing, yet I still appreciate being spared the irritating announcer voices droning on and on and on.
Actually, some of us women need alone time also. That is probably why I’ve adopted to single live again with no problem. Now if the 3 kids would get grown and on their own, I could have all the time I really need. I also am hopelessly addicted to blogging. At times, it drives my kids crazy!
I think it’s an individual thing rather than related to gender. Some people are just more social than others, some more solitary. And a person can change. I used to be the most gregarious being imaginable, but now I enjoy quiet and solitude the most.
I love and cherish my other half but alone time is necessary too. It evens things out.