Fortune cookies and AARP
I’m resenting my mail more and more these days.
My image of myself, perhaps delusional, is of a guy aware that he’s not thirtysomething anymore but reasonably comfortable in his own skin and not looking for daily reminders of his approaching dotage.
- Image via Wikipedia
Yet, at least once a week, the mail arrives with a new affront.
The latest was a fat envelope from The Scooter Store, whose commercials you see on TV all the time. They manufacture and market what they call a scooter but what the rest of the world would view as a souped-up wheelchair.
- Image by taberandrew via Flickr
On the outside of the envelope was an invitation to take a “mobility” test. The idea, I gather, is if you fail your mobility test you probably are a candidate for one of their “scooters.”
What I want to know is how I got on their mailing list. I’m thinking it has something to do with membership in the AARP.
I think that’s also why I sometimes get advertisements that ask, “Have you made your final arrangements yet?”
The other day the mailbox yielded a coupon for a free sample of Touch of Gray, a men’s hair color product that allows you to dye some of your hair, but not all of it.
These offers are not limited to my mailbox. They’re also in my e-mail which is cluttered with all kinds of “male enhancement” advertisements. I don’t want to be enhanced, thank you very much.
It’s enough to make you paranoid.
At a Chinese restaurant recently, I cracked open my fortune cookie and read this message: “You are about to cross the great water.”
- Image by pmuellr via Flickr
Damn that AARP.
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Ain't it the truth. I get stuff from them all the time too, but I'm a member. Oh well, you can't stay young forever.
Have a great day.
LOL Always GREAT to see you Sandee. Hope everything is well in sunny Cally
Oh, I feel your pain, Lol! The first time I received mail from AARP I thought it was a joke. But. No. It’s just my life. Ugh!
Hi Glenn, welcome to the club. I miss out on the junk mail crap(I can say “crap” here, right?) since there is no mail delivery in our little town in the Philippines, but I still get the email junk.
By the way, thanks for joining my blog’s Facebook Fan Club. You are the biggest celebrity I have there, but maybe I can persuade the Governor of our island that I talked to last night at a big Christmas(I can say “Christmas” here right, and not “Holiday”?) celebration to join. If so, I’m afraid that would bump you into the Number Two Spot.
Glenn, first thanks for stopping by injaynesworld. Happy you got a chuckle out of my skewering of Palin and Faux News. This post about the mail you receive is hysterical. I think we’re on the same lists and I wrote a post about it on my blog called Junk Mail Blues. I’ll send you the link privately. We can commiserate about this dilemma together.
Oh you are welcome Jayne, my first time actually having the time to sit back and read your blog, it's great. I am so happy you decided to stop by and WELCOME to MOB!!!