Warning: Do NOT view if easily offended.

I warned you proceed at your own risk

I was ready to turn the computer off right after I Twitted my last article for the night when I got a tweet and I looked at it. It was from someone who said you could make easily $40 to $60 an hour and of course like a fool I clicked on it.

I didn’t read it at first just scrolled down to the bottom of the pitch page to see what they were selling. The title of it was become a Twitter douche bag or something like that. It had a guy stating he got over 30 million twitter followers in three days. I should have read all of it but when I started to read the endorsements I nearly spit out the Ice Tea I was drinking all over the monitor.

So without further ado here are the endorsements they offered.

“Before you’re excelent program, I was forced to trade sexual favors for Twitter followers. Thanks to you, my meaty dumper is exit-only again! My sores are healing, and I think my teeth are even starting to grow back! I can’t thank you enough! ”

– Christy G.

“ FUCK YEAH!!!!!!”

– Gary B.

“I never knew how much money I could make finding new clients on Twitter. My boss is so impressed, I got a raise! And by clients I mean johns. And by boss I mean pimp. And by raise I mean pistol-whipped. Your program is ferreal. ”

– Holly R.

“Thanks to your program, I was able to leave my job in the music industry and do what I really love. It was easier than getting kicked out of rehab. Wait… where am I? ”

– Amy W.

“Your program made all of my dreams come true! Before I started on The Complete Social Media Douchebag, I didn’t like who I was. I was living a lie. Now, I have the freedom and wealth to be myself! ”

– Michael J.

Thanks to The Complete Social Media Douchebag, I no longer have to spend all day writing my manifesto or stocking up on C-4. My militia is growing at a rate I could never have imagined! We will be ready for the zombie apocalypse thanks to you!

– Anonymous

“Ia ia ia! Ph-nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn. Thanks to The Complete Social Media Douchebag, when the Great Old Ones return and shroud the world in darkness again as once before, we will have more followers than ever.”

– Cthulhu

I cheated tonight. This was an article that I originally posted back when we first started in August and don’t feel it got it’s deserved recognition. One of our regular readers found it the other day and I thought to move it back up front a little. I am also late at getting home so enjoy what I thought was quite funny.

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Short URL: http://man-over-board.com/?p=1509

Posted by Eric on Jan 29 2010 Filed under FUNNY. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry