NATIONAL MAN DAY
One day out of the entire year arrives, this special day when men of all sizes, ages and hair cuts, partake in what has become a national celebration. Yes, it is also known as SUPER BOWL SUNDAY.
Do we care about what teams are playing? Mostly NOT!!
Unless it is our team. You know the one we follow all year round. The one that every man plans his rituals before and during the game. The team he first came to know when he was seven years old. When to his amazement, he watched his dad jump out of the Lazy Boy and swore at a man dressed like a Zebra and informed the TV set, that person needed an eye examination. That mantel was passed to him. And more then likely will his son, soon see the exact act play out in front of him.
He owns two team hats, one he wears and is broken in perfectly with sweat stains around the head band and the right curvature of the brim, molded from his precise bending using his forearm or other circular object. This is his work cap. The same one he wears, while lamenting on the way to the mall, with his wife to shop for a new microwave. The second hat sits proud, clean and untouched, except for the first day it arrived home, to be tried on once, just because!
This hat sits next to his other memorabilia, like the inverted snack dip helmet, the bobble head linebacker and the holy grail: that autographed piece he got from Ebay. With the necessary documentation, that the player actually signed it, with the raised seal and proudly encased in the 8″ by 10″ wooden frame.
Of course there are the extreme fan, who still has the unopened case of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer, with the limited run of “his” teams logo emblazoned on the front. Some even are lucky enough to own the neon sign that glows of his teams colors. And when lit, the gaseous neon as dimmed, from years of use, at the corner bends of the vowels. It still hums the sound of the ballast one rarely can discern, when at the noisy local pub. Ddrowning out that beautiful sound, that can double as a sleep sound machine before bed.
Yes he has articles of clothing, whether the hoodie, tee shirt, scarf or best of all the winter jacket. Sporting the extended half glove sleeve ends and 14 pockets, two of them secret to only him.
But what truly makes this THE manliest day of the year, isn’t all the guys hanging out at the basement bar, with bowl upon bowl filled with every snack known to compliment the 1/2 keg on tap. Nor the excitement of the aging rock group, who will be performing at half time. Gladly butchering their best classic repertoire to fit into the 4 minute time slot given to them. As this years hottest pop icon joins in to update the final song with the this years new dance move made infamous from Grammy night a few weeks prior. Some have even been known to improvise faulty clothing tops, to reveal what every women wears under their shirt, a pastie.
This is MAN DAY because every large, medium and small sized company has strategically bankrupted their yearly advertising budget, to reveal the 30 second spot that will become synonymous for the rest of eternity, as the IT commercial.
Yes who cares if the game is a blow out, or if it is the quarterbacks first time making it to the big show after 15 losing seasons and battered knees. The opening National Anthem pales in comparison to the toad that talks.
On this day, the world is turned upside down. Our TIVO’s are programmed to make sure that all commercials ARE included. Piss runs are made during the high kicks of the cheerleaders injecting their spirit into the crowd.
On Man Day we wait for the next commercial break, so when Monday morning arrives at the office, you’re in the loop of all other manly men. Who now knows, a 10 month old baby can place his own stock trade while throwing up over his shirt and pronouncing slang terms better then Vanilla Ice.
In accordance, we here at MOB, salute our three most revered Super Bowl commercials from years past. Waiting with baited breath, on what new Cave Man or Animatronic creature will make it into the Man Day Hall of Fame:
UPDATED AFTER SUPERBOWL 41 2/07/2010
THIS YEARS MOB SUPER BOWL COMMERCIAL
Watch it live now
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