Women, how can they be so…..
- Women
We have a great guest post today, from a fellow blogger that I got to meet by reading a guest post he did over at Blog With Wings. Boy he gets around!! His name is Garret, and lives in the cold frozen wilderness of Northern Ontario, Canada. He has an awesome blog – Need to Get Some.net. We’re becoming fast friends and today he shares a great post with us about the opposite sex, our beautiful women. I am sure you will not only find it entertaining, but should raise a few eyebrows also. Please enjoy and thank you so much!! I am sure to get a ton of bitching at this one. Don’t forget that’s Garret and please don’t forget to visit him over at Need to Get Some.net
Women, how can they be so… The female species in itself is, at best an enigma to most of us men. We love them and hate them for a wide variety of reason’s. Quick tid bit; this article is not for the young or easily offended so if you are under 18 please exit stage left (Shakespearean humor).
Now before you ladies out there get your panties in a knot or your knicker’s in a bunch allow me to at least write my thoughts and get to the point. I will try very hard not to offend those of the more feminist nazi style regime, women like my daughter who strongly believes that she doesn’t need a man for any reason at all. Except for those times when she needs a ride somewhere, or money for something, or protection from a moronic ex boyfriend or…well I think I have made my point.
Personally, I love women. Especially my wife. On that front however, obviously I am somewhat biased, that and if I speak any bad about her I will certainly see a shoe fly at me (wink). Quite possibly the greatest thing ever said about women was said in the wonderfully acclaimed movie “Scent of a Woman” starring Al Pacino. His character Lt. Col. Frank Slade had this to say and well dammit it sum’s all women up perfectly:
Women! What can you say? Who made ‘em? God must have been a fuckin’ genius. The hair… They say the hair is everything, you know. Have you ever buried your nose in a mountain of curls… just wanted to go to sleep forever? Or lips… and when they touched, yours were like… that first swallow of wine… after you just crossed the desert. Tits. Hoo-ah! Big ones, little ones, nipples staring right out at ya, like secret searchlights. Mmm. Legs. I don’t care if they’re Greek columns… or secondhand Steinways. What’s between ‘em… passport to heaven. I need a drink. Yes, Mr Sims, there’s only two syllables in this whole wide world worth hearing: pussy. Hah! Are you listenin’ to me, son? I’m givin’ ya pearls here.
Women, You Can't Live With Them,
Ahh….solid words for the young man or woman depending on which way your boat floats. As nicey nice as this quote is it is somewhat biased because it only says the wonderful things about women, it doesn’t dare to dwell on the evil (and almost unspoken side).
Let the games begin:
The movie neglects to mention that some women can be down right nasty during their monthly visitor. It neglects to mention that there are those of the fairer sex who simply want one thing out of life and that one thing is a “Sugar Daddy”. I have been one, so don’t tell me they don’t exist. Once my bank account had been nicely drained of all it’s cash, plus all of it’s wonderful overdraft and the money was all gone, so was she. Lesson learned, some things really are worth alot of money. Looking back on that situation, it was worth every penny to get her out of my life. No resentment is felt, just a longing for all of the interest I lost, both in her and in the bank hehe.
The movie neglects how caddy women can be. It has been my experience that most women are simply vultures waiting to have the latest gossip so that they can begin spreading rumours aplenty. On that note, I personally believe that this is a sickness directly related to growing up anywhere in the Greater Timmins and Cochrane District. The women I know down south don’t have this problem, therefore I must surmise that there is something in the water to make women act in this way in this part of the world.
And You Can't Live Without Them!
I love how women can flirt with a total stranger and make them feel like the King of the world. I hate how women can flirt to just get what they want, simply use a guy and move along, what’s worse is they know they are doing it and they don’t care.
Ahh, mom and dad must be soooo proud to have raised such a …hmmm…how do I put this…what’s the word….oh right : Such a BITCH. I love how a woman’s smile can cheer me up. I hate how a woman’s smile can cause a war.
Personally, I am a lucky guy to have found a diamond in the rough, I don’t say that lightly either as my wife was abused in the past, both mentally and physically so she is slowly becoming a happy person being with someone who treats her properly. I also respect how she doesn’t dwell on it. Too many women don’t dust themselves off and get help or counselling and move on with their life. They sit around and boo hoo about the past and before they realize it life is pretty much over.
So ladies, become who you are supposed to be and learn to look in the mirror. The next time you use someone (and you know you are using them) ask yourself how you would feel if someone treated you that way…chances are you wouldn’t like it so don’t do it. The next time you or anyone else thinks that they have it sooo bad I invite you to hop on a plane and head over to Haiti……trust me, your life ain’t that bad. If it is then do something about it. Quit whining, men don’t wanna hear it.
Finally, if you are single and you see any aspect of yourself in this post:
THESE ARE THE REASON’S YOU ARE SINGLE!!
To conclude, get a life. Author Elsileb Terrag
Related articles by Zemanta
- Women (slideshare.net)
- 18 things to teach your sons about women (cnn.com)
- Arianna Huffington On What Women Want (huffingtonpost.com)
![Reblog this post [with Zemanta]](http://img.zemanta.com/reblog_b.png?x-id=9a96c154-260b-40c9-a785-b7b7bdef76ad)
Short URL: http://man-over-board.com/?p=5578
Posted by Garret Belisle
on Feb 27 2010 Filed under FEATURES, FUNNY, OPPOSITE SEX.
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0.
You can leave a response or trackback to this entry
ann
Lauren
Don E. Chute
June Zach
Roschelle
Comedy Plus
Gentleman Joe
The Padrino
Katherine
Mario Oyunları
Well now I’m a little disappointed because I was all ready to be offended by the post. After reading the whole thing I can’t disagree with any of it.
From a women who doesn’t fit the mold…
Even though I was born and spent my early years in Timmins. I hate gossip, rumors and empty flirtations, but I have a kind of twisted respect for women who smile and magically, men dance to attend them. I had a friend like that once, I loved to watch her operate, how she’d use em, abuse em and move on to the next one. I haven’t seen her in years, but at the time we were both in our 30s and she had been married 7 times already. It was fascinating.
Personally I’ve never had that effect on men. My best friend (a guy) and my hubby both tell me, that generally men are intimidated by me. Apparently you shouldn’t tell better jokes than men or appear smarter than they are. They have sensitive egos – thankfully there are a few out there who want a woman that is at least their intellectual equal, one who knows how to let loose, have a good laugh and isn’t afraid to go it alone if they have to. Otherwise I’d be a lonely old spinster!
Sadly, women learn from the interactions around them, from the people who influence them most from childhood, what a woman should be and how she should act. Some women come to the conclusion that if men are going to come panting after them like dogs in heat, why not play on it? They use every one of there feminine wiles to get what they want. And they feel entitled.
It’s actually kind of hard to fault them for it. Because men continue to fall for it. The behavior fits with the philosophy: go with what works and hang the ethics of it.
In hindsight, I’d probably be better off if I had been more like them. My very own rich sugar daddy eh? But then I wouldn’t be living with the amazing man I am with now. He loves all the things about me that other men somehow found unattractive and that makes it all worthwhile.
Joella, you especially being from Timmins absolutely don’t qualify, even though you call yourself an old spinster, you know you are a rare breed from the Northern ways lol…
Ann I am glad you read it with an open mind and smiled in your comment
P.S. I am re-doing my comments on my blog sorry…know comments over the weekend will be allowed.
Have a great day ya all
Nice and oh so inviting thoughts….my first thought on this post is who came first the man or the woman…
Seriously…I think that women these days are basically doing a little payback…do not get me wrong as I am so not a game player…but knowing what I know about the female gender through personal experiences and research…come on…guys have done a damn good job in creating that ‘bitch’ for the most part.
Yup…we do have our monthly hormonal eclipse…but have men ever stopped to think how crazy and frustrating this is for us…I mean just think about it…we are not enjoying feeling like we are separate and apart from our brains.
I do agree that the minute a woman has realized what she has and can do with her weapons…she is real trouble for many men. But who is to blame for that…is it her bouncy bobbies or his lack of restraint…lol…this is too funny as I just wrote a post here on a males ability to restrain…women will show cleavage for two reasons…because she knows it will get her the attention she wants or her bra is too small.
All in all guys…learn to love for the brain and you will not get hurt so much !
Bottom line…there are good women out there as there are good men out there.
Women have to stop looking for a sugar daddy and men have to stop looking for the porn star that can cook….start looking for a person that is equal to you in all the ways that matter.
Dorothy that was very well said. I can definitely agree with guys looking for the “porn star” who can cook lol, its all my brother looks for….then again he idolizes Charlie Harper (Two and a Half Men) lol.
Some men have created the bitch and some women have also lol.
In any event if we all just live by Shakespeare’s wonderful words:
“Above all else; to thine own self be true”
What a wonderful world it would be.
Garret
Ahhh yes….those are most definitely words to live by…I will add to that…’Do unto others…as you would have them do unto you’
I pity your brother as what he is looking for doe not exist in the real scheme of things
Since I love women and have great respect for all of them, I’ve enjoyed reading this post. The content is unique, the humor is evident, the issues are intelligently discussed. I learned a thing or two reading this article, the reason why I always visit this wonderful blog.
You know, deep down I am a caring and soft spoken women who likes to blog about archaeology. However, on this site, I get to be the person I really am. A really opinionated and big boobed archaeologist with great hair that knows I can get what I want, all while flashing my bits to my fiance. It’s something I just have to live with. I just hope I can stay professional and clothed on a dig. he he
If by chance you become the real Lauren on a dig and let your hair down along with other “bits”, please remember to forward all pictures to MOB. We are very tasteful here.
Great gems of wisdom and insight, Mr. Garret, and this from a 58 year old Bonehead that has been around the block more than a couple of times and have encountered all of the various types of ladies you describe.
But such a harsh life I have now, married to a beautiful Filipina, living on a tropical paradise where the guys can urinate on public streets in broad daylight, and the cute, young ladies here think I am a good looking guy!
Could it be Dave that the young Filipino girls are in need of eye glasses
Sorry you left yourself WIDE open for that one. Nice to see you . Did you get my email????? Or did that not reach you either?
Humm, err–what? Oh, comment…I’m sorry I didn’t read…a single word…everything was blurry…Just finished a Matthews Moment…after focusing on the girlie, withum–big titties!
Will have to cum back again, and read the whole thing. Right now I have Droppin to do.
What exactly do you do now, Glenn with all that free time on your hands?? Humm–No dropping, new web pages humming along like a cool breeze–Oh, I know–You think I haven’t been paying attention–Forgot all about my ol bud, Glenn–But, I see you playing all those fucking facebook app games!
You just thought I was taking a leave of absence–Or, a leave of my senses–Whatever!
Peace, Love, and Understandin–Elvis Costello
About time I see your ugly puss. That’s my wife playing the games not me. She uses my account to get herself more stuff for her games. What’s it look like I have been doing??? Did you get my email for the themes you wanted?
I won’t disagree that there are women just as you describe in this post. Perhaps too many. But how about the men? The men who are looking for the “porn star who can cook”. The men who are controlling and oppressive. The men who look for women they can belittle and abuse? Hmmm. We are an imperfect species. Heavy subject.
Well said, we are an imperfect species. This post is meant in fun, if you read it between the lines it shows both sexes flaws. As for what you said about men who are controlling and oppressive…..that is not a man, that is a punk little boy. Real men don’t treat people that way and neither do real women.
Still we are an imperfect species and it is a heavy subject which is why I wrote it with humor. Now if everyone can just get my brother to quit waiting for a porn star who can cook….he’ll find happiness much, much faster.
Guys, get a dog, they’ll always be loyal and never talk back. Then just go out and whore around with lots of different women, it’s a lot of fun, trust me. I was married for 12 years, I was always faithful, but the bitch decided to go out and have multiple affairs. So I then turned my attention to her friends and started banging a few of them, at the time I wanted to bang everyone she loved. I’ve learned it’s not good to have a woman around 24/7. Maybe some day I’ll decide to settle back down, but for now I’m happy living the way I am. I have 3 grown children – my daughter still lives with me and we have a dog, 1 grandchild, and I’m free to date whoever is looking good and will have me at the time.