The first rule of Fight Club is no one never mentions Fight Club. Go Jane!!!! And to think we all thought Fight Club started in the 1990′s, haaaa try more like 1810.

Yo, take that bitch

Come on, put one right in my eye.

Well, we must care a little, because we haven’t heard a thing about the fun loving, bad girl Paris Hilton in such a long time. Being the fun gathering source we are, we happened upon some of her recent vacation pictures. Of course just not any pictures, the ones guys tend to like, yup topless.

So two things are cleared up for us though. One, we can honestly say, Paris never had breast augmentation. Two, how does this person without a lick of talent, always get attention?

We know We know, we are helping the cause by posting this, but in our defense. It has been a long time since we showed any tits on MOB in a long long time.

So here they are, Paris and her perky little nips on vacation atop a yacht off the Italian coast in Porto Cervo, Sardinia.

Read more: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/usa/3062986/Paris-Hilton-goes-topless-aboard-a-yacht-in-Italy.html#ixzz0uYnMCT1T

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Gotta watch this poor little thing get the grind of her life. Not to worry she was fine after the it all.

Some days trying to find something to write about is very hard. Really what hasn’t been covered already on the internet? You can always rely on YouTube to post some new ridiculous video of your next door neighbor trying some lunatic act of stupidity with his friend holding the camera filming him with the hopes of being the next huge viral video. We have been known to show such videos to help fill that day in with something new. But today we had the idea that there must be some great articles on todays celebrities who have been caught off guard saying some of the most ridiculous things (bring smart doesn’t equate at becoming a celeb).

Of course with so many photographers and paparazzi out there trying to grab that one shot of a celeb doing something stupid, hey just like your next door neighbor, it isn’t hard to find some stupid gems out there from some of todays biggest stars.

These are actual documented sentences that were blurted out by some of our biggest female celebs. Yes we have been known to focus on the female gender being that we are a mens site. So call us bigots or female bashers, thats OK with us. The truth is we love everything about you beautiful creatures, OK honestly we like most everything.

So here are some we found, mind you we could have kept going on and on there is no lack of intelligent banter that’s out there in todays media. By the way, we could have also done this whole post just on Britney Spears or Jessica Simpsons words of wisdom, these two girls are just amazing!!!!

“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death stuff.” Mariah Carey

Missattributed: This was actually taken from a phoney satirical interview on a site called “Cupcake” that has been widely circulated as an actual quotation since its appearance in early 1996. We at MOB apologize to Ms Carey and of course to all her fans from TX that wrote in. But she still made “Glitter”.

“What’s Wal-Mart? Do they like make walls there?” Paris Hilton

“Smoking kills. And if you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.” Brooke Shield

“I’ve never wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like fish. And I know that’s very popular out there in Africa.” Britney Spears

“I’’m not anorexic. I’m from Texas. Are there people from Texas that are anorexic? I’ve never heard of one. And that includes me.” Jessica Simpson

I was asked to come to Chicago because Chicago is one of our 52 states.” Raquel Welch

I get to go to lots of overseas places like Canada.” Britney Spears

I think the movie was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think the lightness has to come from a very deep place if it’s true lightness.” Alicia Silverstone

It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren’t, then I’d be a teacher.” Linda Evangelista

(Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?) Answer: “I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we did live forever, then we would live forever, which is why I would not live forever.” Heather Whitestone, Miss Alabama

Is this chicken what I have or is it fish? I know it’s tuna but it says ‘Chicken of the Sea’.” Jessica Simpson

“So, where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?” Christina Aguilera

“When I pictured heroin, I pictured some crazy crack head with no shoes under a bridge. You never think that is going to be you. And it never was me. I was never under a bridge, and I always had shoes.” Nicole Richie

Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything.” Ivana Trump

7. Stop Clown Porn Now: When you Google the term “clown porn” you get  a half million sites. Thank God, last year it was over 1.3 million sites. What happened to the other 750 thousand sites you ask? Have no clue, but why would you ask such a question is what we’d ask.

6. Girls Eating Sandwiches: OK maybe you girls love your mayo and don;t admit to it. Maybe it’s a recurring dream about Panera Bread/ Or let’s face it, woman love to stuff their mouths just as much as men do. There we said it!

5. Japanese Girls with Big Shoes: Leave it to the Japanese to set yet another fashion trend for all of us to follow. First it was Donkey Kong attire now Anime. This from their website ” The heels of the these platform shoes are so big that many girls fall and break their ankles. Accidents have became so common that some people in the government have talked of making laws to prohibit the style.”

4. Hands On Her Hips: There’s no other way to explain the presence of a fetish site devoted entirely to women posing with their hands on their hips, standing defiantly and angrily in the way so many mothers do when their children misbehave.

3. Zit Popping: Yes leave it to MOB to find the site that is devoted to people who love to pop um. Big or small, filled or not. Doesn’t seem to matter to these folks. I mean COME ON, who the hell would want to visit a site devoted to squeezing pimples?

2. Cake Farting: Take our word on this one.  *Caution* Don’t even go there as it has annoying ads and pop ups. When it comes to bizarre food fetishes, this site takes the cake… and then farts on it… literally.

And

Now

a Drum

Roll

the

Number ONE

silliest fetish website……..

1. Pedal Pumpers: This one was so irresistible we even found a video for you all. For some odd reason, when a woman’s car doesn’t start or get stuck, say in the snow, the first thing they do is ……….. step on the gas pedal. Over and over again, thinking that magically whatever is making their auto stuck will magically become unstuck.

So when was the last time you said to yourself  ”What’s the story with breasts in America?”

For instance is their any natural ones left in LA? Is it really necessary to have large ones to make in Hollywood? Is DD the new B cup? Are you considered hot, if you can no longer can see your own navel?

Of course this post could actually discuss all the new parts that people are upgrading,  for plastic surgery is taking over for so many peoples insecurities. It makes you wonder if they were better off not having any work done and just leaving what mother nature intended them to have.

Take for instance two celebs in particular. One is the infamous Born Again Heidi Montag from the MTV show “The Hills”, you know the one married to that psycho douche-bag Spencer. This girl had TEN count um, TEN procedures done in one day, so that no one,  including her own mother can recognize her. And to me,  I think she looked much better before then now.

Of course it doesn’t just have to be Hollywood either. Celebs in the ALT do it also. Here is one of our fav big mouths NeNe Leakes from Bravo’s “The Housewives Of Atlanta” that got her nose done, and now I hardly recognize her.

OK I digress and do not want to go on about all parts of the female anatomy, but rather stay on topic of breasts.

This is a great bunch of graphics that KoldKast.TV came up with and we think they did an awesome job for us guys. One we like to know more about namely bubbies.

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It was the rage back in the late 80′s early 90s’s. The Tramp Stamp, although at the time everyone thought they were sexy and cool. I was just thinking where are they now and whether I could find a few good specimens of these ubiquitous permanent inked fashions.

Pics courtesy of: http://www.oddee.com

The most famous tramp stamp goes to Danica Patrick

Thank you Sports Illustrated!!!!

Jilted hubby exacts mousy revenge.

A 59-year-old man has been arrested for using his ex-wife’s musophobia towreak cruel revenge for their break up after he pushed 19 mice through her letter box on Sunday morning.

“She was scared out of her wits and is now being cared for in hospital,” said Lars Lisberger at Stockholm police.

The jilted ex-husband has been arrested on suspicion of unlawful threats and animal welfare offences.

Knowing that his ex-wife suffered from musophobia – an unreasonable and disproportionate fear of rats and mice – the man arrived at her apartment in the northern Stockholm suburb of Märsta in the early hours of Sunday morning bearing a paper bag full of mice.

The 37-year-old woman awoke to find the scampering murines in her apartment and called the police at 7.30am.

Police arrested the man and took him in for questioning.

The nineteen mice captured at the woman’s apartment are also being housed at the police station pending the advice of the county veterinarian.

According to the Aftonbladet newspaper, the man has demanded the return of his mice.

“He has treated both the mice and his ex-wife badly, so I do not think that he should be given any of them. But we shall have to wait and see what the authorities decide,” Lars Lisberger told the newspaper.

Source:news@thelocal.se

Jilted husband enjoys wedding dress revenge

After his (unnamed) wife walked out on him following 12 years of marriage, the only thing she left behind in their Arizona home was the wedding dress, telling Cotter he could do what he liked with it.
Getting revenge on a cheating partner: From posted crabs to spending sprees
Setting up a blog entitled ‘My Ex-Wife’s Wedding Dress’, the jilted hubby did exactly that by embarking on an attempt to come up with 101 uses for the white silk frock.

There are 23 on the list so far and he hopes to reach the magic number before the dress is completely ruined, a process he reckons has served as therapy for him while he gets over his marriage breakdown.

His ex-wife hasn’t quite seen the funny side, however, telling ABC news in an email: ‘I wish all the best to Kevin and hope he seeks counselling to deal with his anger and resentment.

‘His determination, along with his family’s support, to continue with this endeavor after his children and I have asked him to stop is incomprehensible.’

Source: http://myexwifesweddingdress.com

Man bets wife in card game, loses

A Russian man lost his wife in a game of cards after putting her up as a stake instead of cash.

Andrei Karpov from Murmansk had run out of money in a game of poker and offered his opponent his wife instead of cash to stay in the game.

When he lost the game and his opponent Sergey Brodov turned up to claim his winnings his wife Tatiana was so angry she decided to divorce her husband and started a relationship with Brodov.

She has since married Brodov, and said she does not regret leaving her first husband.

She said: ‘It was humiliating and I was utterly ashamed. But as soon as my ex-husband did that I knew I had to leave him. ’Sergey was a very handsome, charming man and I am very happy with him, even if he did “win” me in a poker game.’

Source: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/

Jilted Ex-Husband’s Savings On Boob Job

Bachelor contestant Vienna Girardi is not only a nightmare on the hit ABC show — apparently, she is one in real life.

The new Us Weekly (on newsstands now) reports that Girardi — an unemployed, 23-year-old former Hooters waitress — withdrew her ex-husband Josh Riley’s last $5,000 from his bank account to pay for breast implants while he was deployed in Iraq with the Marines.

“She took every bit of his money,” her former mother-in-law Gale tells Us Weekly. “I know that boob job was the first thing she had done.”

What’s more, when Riley returned from his tour of duty (he was injured inIraq during an explosion), Girardi “had locked his belongings in storage and would not tell us where they were,” Gale tells Us.

Riley, who was wed to Girardi for just 10 months after eloping, tells Us Weekly that he also discovered that while he was in Iraq, “she slept with one of my buddies I was deployed with … I’m 99 percent sure she cheated on me.”

Adds Riley, “Marrying her was a mistake.”

Any words of wisdom for Bachelor Jake Pavelka, who is rumored to choose Girardi on the March 1 Bachelorfinale? “I’d rather not comment,” Riley tells Us Weekly. “I’d like to forget.”

Source: http://www.usmagazine.com

There are many ways to protest your cause – letter writing, petitions, marches, sit-ins, strikes and good, old-fashioned throwing rotten fruit at your opponents.

Women in Los Angeles bare their breasts to celebrate National Go Topless Day.

But sometimes, nothing beats taking your clothes off – as with the recent example of American women who stripped off across seven cities in the States, to protest against laws banning them from going topless (seen above).

Here, we pay tribute to some of the finest examples of people stripping off for their cause.

Going topless to fighting for the right to go topless
Like their American counterparts, in 2007, Swedish women launched a campaign called Just Breasts to fight for their right to go topless on beaches and in swimming pools. Scandinavian feminists were outraged when two women were asked to cover up their breasts by a lifeguard at a public pool near Stockholm. Sadly for them, they lost their fight.

Stripping for animal rights
PETA are the masters of the entirely gratuitous naked protest – be it persuading a string of celebrities to go naked in protest against the fur industry, or (above) getting Che Guevara’s granddaughter to pose topless (save for some militaristic carrots) in the cause of vegetarianism.

Going naked to save the planet
Daring cyclists shed their clothes and saddled up to cycle through a city naked to highlight the damage caused to the planet by car dependency. Around 700 cyclists in various stages of undress took part in the Naked Bike Ride in Brighton – one of many Naked Bike Rides around the world.

Stripping in favor of prostitution
50 prostitutes threatened to march naked down the streets of El Alto in Bolivia after locals closed down the strip bars. Unsurprisingly the locals, who usually had to pay to get an eyeful of the buxom beauties, did not meet their demands.

Elizabeth Book of Florida
Showing your breasts as a protest in order to get the right show your breasts as a protest
Even more recursive than example one, Elizabeth Book was arrested in Florida for baring her breasts in 2004, under a law that banned acts of indecency in public, including women going topless The law she was protesting against, of course, was the same anti-toplessness law under which she was arrested.
While the Flordia court made no judgement on the rights or wrongs of the law against women showing their breasts, it did decide that if women were showing their breasts as part of a legitimate political protest against laws banning women from showing their breasts, then they were allowed to show their breasts. Got that?

Pirate Party in Germany
Members of the Pirate Party in Germany organized a “fleshmob” of people who stripped down to their skivviesto protest the use of the so-called Nacktscanner (naked scanner), Jan. 10, 2010

Naked woman in ‘yoga protest’ at Parliament
A naked woman stopped traffic near the Houses of Parliament, by clambering on to a black cab for a five-minute ‘yoga protest’.

She yelled ‘Troops out of Afghanistan’, as the cabbie tried to shift her and tourists looked on.
Police finally managed to move the woman.

An angry cabbie tries to get the naked yoga protester to stop lying on the roof of his taxi
Witness Carl Backland, 50, said: ‘She jumped on the cab when it stopped at the lights – the driver wasn’t very pleased.’

Still struggling to find your masculine mojo? Or maybe you’re just looking to torque up your sense of style, witty banter or modern-music street cred. If you’re looking to be a better man (and we assume that’s why you’re here!), it might not hurt to take a peek at your telly for some “TV Guy-dance.” (Oh, yes, we did!) That’s right, many of the best role models can be found right in your living r oom! Here are a few useful TV shows we recommend you monitor closely to help you get your man on.

1. Suit up in style. You don’t have to show up for work looking like the guy who’s there to water the plants anymore. Check out “Mad Men”’s Don Draper and the rest of the retro dudes who’ve set fashion back 40 years — and gotten a whole lot of women being a lot more nostalgic as a result of their backward-thinking fashion statements. Think: seer-sucker suits, slicked-back hair and super-skinny ties making everything old new and hot again. So if you want to cut a stylish look in the future, take a step back into the ’60s, son.

2. Get in tune with the coolest new bands. Before “Scrubs” flatlined this season, it held the distinct honor of being the venue for the coolest tunes on the tube. Rock, pop and indie artists used to fight for the right to have their stuff wind up in the ending montages that summed up each episode’s themes. Artists who scrubbed in included Lazlo Blane, The Shins and the Butthole Surfers. But since this useful TV show went belly up in March, the best place to get a diagnosis of the best new beats is (sigh) the girly “Grey’s Anatomy.” Always featuring new — and surprising — cool acts, each episode is themed and named after a song. (The show was instrumental in launching the careers of Snow Patrol and The Fray.) Also, if you can repeat this information to any girl (we have scientific data that proves they worship this show), they’ll find you sensitive and open-minded.

3. Learn how to treat a woman … by watching football! It turns out that some of the most sensitive and supportive men play or coach football. Surprised? Don’t be — this is a TV showwe’re talking about. The men and boys on “Friday Night Lights” are largely solid citizens (when they’re not juicing or boozing, that is). But when they’re standing up, they’re standup guys. The high school coach makes sure his players follow his game plan as he dutifully respects and works for his loving wife — who also happens to be the principal. And this season, the star quarterback is willing to follow the golden rules when he steps out of bounds and knocks up a cheerleader. He wants to take care of the girl and the baby and be a dad. In every case, when the guys are under the gun, they take care of their women with all-star style. Follow their playbook, and you’ll score with any woman.

4. Get your black belt in banter. Want to be the funniest guy in the room without having to take off your pants … again? Then watch the better-man-friendly “30 Rock.” Pilfer a healthy dose of dialogue from this useful TV show, inject it into your real-life shtick, and you’ll never lack for wit again. Take this exchange between Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) and boss man Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin) as a quality case study of classic comebacks. Her question: “Why are you wearing a tuxedo?” His answer? “It’s after 6. What am I, a farmer?” Looking for more versatile quips? Try these other classic “Rock” classics:

• “I want to go to there.”

  Faux overstatement, phrased to mimic preschool-type desire for something. Works great to express instant overpowering infatuation with a lady.

• “What the what?!?”

  To express dumbfoundedness in a way that conveys hip, ironic wit to the elite class (while simultaneously mocking the vulgar and illiterate classes).

• “Oh … sarcasm!”

  A sarcastic way of acknowledging lame sarcasm expressed by others.

• “Well played, [insert your foil’s name here]. Well played.”

  A tongue-in-cheek, pseudo-classic-gentlemanly way of acknowledging victory to a foe relating to an issue that ultimately lacks importance. Hyperbolic.

Mike Hammer has worked as a brand development consultant and senior reporter for TV Guide magazine. Currently a writer, Hammer’s also been a former editor of Maxim, Stuff and Shock.