Today we have a brand new guest blogger I like to introduce to all of youl. His name is Adam Garratt from Blokebuddy.com. Adam comes from us from all the way “across the pond” as they say and resides in Great Britain. As you will probably tell from some of the use of his British speak.

Adam not only is one of our commenter’s here at MOB but as you can see he is also a blogger himself. His blog is a men’s blog with a bit of a more shall I say twisted sense of humor and also I would rate it least an R.  Meaning: ADULTS ONLY. Those of you with sensitive eyes please be forewarned. I also like to mention these are his views as are all of our guest bloggers.

All guest bloggers are their own viewpoints and not Man Over Boards views, nor do we suggest we endorse views depicted  from any of our guest bloggers. But we love to see other points a view from all  over the world and welcome guest bloggers from all species of human forms.

With that being said, I want to thank Adam for giving up his time and talents to allow MOB a chance to get a sense of what Blokebuddy.com offers and hope you get the chance to visit Adam at his blog.

I have had my heart broken so many times in the past, I have been cheated on more than once, I have been rejected and even spat at by the fairer sex. Now I don’t protest for one minute that us guys are saints sent from heaven and we can be just as bad, as I’m sure your all aware, but what do you do if your girl cheats on you? Most of us lose our temper, hit someone, go down to the pub and cry, right? Well today I’m going to tell you some of the most vicious and cruel ways to get revenge on a girlfriend that has cheated on you.

Don’t take it lying down! Man up and take revenge! OK so I am presuming that you have undoubted proof your girl is cheating on you, she doesn’t know you know and your looking for a cool way to ditch her. Well then this post is for you, so sit back,  read up, and get inspired by my twisted and deranged thoughts on how to get back at her, enjoy.

1. Use her phone

One of the most effective weapons in your arsenal is to use her mobile phone. Now you obviously need to do this when she is preoccupied, but when she is, grab her phone and send this text to her mother, and make it look like it was meant for her secret lover.

”Hey, [your name] is off out tonight with his stupid pals, I was wondering if you fancied coming over tonight? I really miss you and have been wet for you all fucking day! I want you to lick my butt hole like you did the other night, [your name] has never done that to me before but I love it! text me when you can, laters.xxx‘

The crucial part after sending this text is to delete all traces of you sending it, remove it from the sent box etc, that way she will have no idea it was sent it, until her mum kicks off, the best part is she will never confront you for fear of blowing her cover!

2. Swap her diet drinks for crash weight gain supplements

Go down to your nearest health food store and pick up some weight gain powder, the sort of stuff gym nuts use to put on weight, it normally has whey protein in it, this stuff has some rather detrimental effects on women. Simply empty half of her weight loss drinks powder in the bin and replace with the weight gain powder, and watch her balloon up like a fucking sperm whale in the next month!, then turn and say she’s fat and your leaving her…..pure class.

3. Send her a letter

Send her a well constructed fake letter from an STD clinic stating that the guy she is currently banging is HIV positive and that she needs to contact them as soon as possible. The number you put on the letter is actually your mate with a recorder.  He pretends to be a doctor, records the sensitive conversation about HIV and her sexual practices with this man, then sends the recording to her dad. Make sure your mate asks loads of questions like ‘so how many times have you had sex?’ and ‘has he ever ejaculated in your mouth?’

4. Pretend your dead

The late and great comedian Andy Kaufman did it fantastically well by pretending to die of cancer for 3 years before coming back. The key here is to be convincing in a short space of time because your not going to want to disappear for 3 years are you? First, write a hand written letter that you have found out about her cheating on you and that your devastated and can’t cope anymore. Make it really believable, tell her your going to jump in front of a train. Get hold of some pillows and some old clothes and make guy Fawkes style model of yourself, take it down to your nearest train track and throw it over at a high point. It needs to be far enough away for her to not realise it’s a dummy. When she gets there she will see ‘you’ dead on a train track and be completely mortified. Sick I know, but if your worried about it, you can always jump out the bushes nearby and shout ‘surprise! your dumped!’

5. Sleep with her relatives

This may be more of a challenge than the other suggestions, simply because they are obviously going to be loyal to her, and reluctant to betray a loved one. But there are ways around this, pick one of her closest family members, perhaps her sister or an aunt, whatever, and just turn up at there door one day sobbing your heart out because you found out she’s cheating. Play the sensitive part and say you had no one else to turn to you, that you could trust. Make her believe her relative is a complete bitch by saying she has hit you as well as cheated on you. Really make out your devastated, and then subtly move in and just jokingly say to her “it’s stupid really, but I actually fancied you, and it’s only because I thought you were too good for me that I didn’t ask you out”.  This will hopefully seal the deal and you will be bed jumping with her all night!  Oh and don’t forget to take photos of her when she’s asleep to send to your cheating bitch of a girlfriend.

Conclusion: Well guys I hope I have given you some inspiration here, and that you will now go out and take some vindictive revenge on her, and don’t feel guilty about it either because at the end of the day, does she feel guilty about sleeping with the gym instructor? No of course not. Take care guys and I hope you found this post as fun as I did writing it!”

Thanks to Adam and Blokebuddy

For this weeks MOBBION, we take it easy on our beloved individuals of the opposite sex. Instead of digging up weird, wacky and downright nasty stories that women can put us through, we decided on these three stories instead.

These stories feature a head of state, a group of women helping to raise funds for a great cause and finally I dare anyone to watch the last clip and keep from laughing.  Enjoy this weeks MOBBION’s.

Our Own MILF

Our distinguished ex first lady makes this week MOBBION. While on official business in the Philippines. It seems that Bills wife, the  U.S. Secretary of State got a first hand lesson on what it is to be a MILF.

Clinton discovered as much Friday as she fielded questions about the Moro Islamic Liberation Front during a town hall-style gathering in Manila.

Questioned repeatedly about peace efforts with the MILF in the southern Philippines, Clinton struggled with how to speak the acronym.

“I’m encouraged by what I hear about the progress in the peace efforts that are going on between the government and MILF’s,” Clinton said, pronouncing it like a word — the same way as the acronym for a popular hot mom’s phrase.

Then she switched and adopted the local usage — saying the letters individually. M – I- L- F

The next feel good story takes place in South Africa, where last week a group of bikini clad women gathered together to help raise funds for Breast Cancer.

MOB always the leader in helping with good causes would also like to take advantage, be a part of raising awareness to the great cause.

Hundreds of bikini clad women descend on Johannesburg to participate in a bid to break the world record for the largest bikini parade and raise breast cancer awareness. Yes a Twofer.

The following video shows you the details and also hopefully inspires  our readers to give to the National Breast Cancer Foundation.

We also found a clip with no reporters talking. Do we really need it??

Finally this is an actual clip of a TV host from another country, I believe it is in Dutch or German. Regardless what language it is, I have yet to make it through this video without laughing.

It seems the host is having a hard time interviewing this couple, as you will soon see.