It’s that time of year when the flowers are opening up and showing off the beauty that only Mather nature can bring us. A time of year when the trees are filled with beautiful leaves with hues of all the colors of a rainbow and filled with the gorgeous and graceful of migrating birds.

It is also the time of year where we scour the world to bring you the annual MOB’s Ugliest Men Alive. Of course beauty is different for everyone, but these men display the faces of men that even their mothers would need to be revived in the ER, if they happened upon them in the middle of the night.

This years winning crop.

Many of our female audience, wonder why the age old question of  “Why Men Don’t Cry” has always been answered by the standard phrase that was taught to us, by our fathers and peer groups from birth, that we don’t let our emotions show. We are tough and much like the British “have a stiff upper lip”.

But the real fact that many of the testosterone clan don’t want our fair skinned beauties to know, will now be revealed right here, right now at MOB.

While I am sure we will get much hate mail and maybe even death threats in revealing the real truth. It is finally time, to let all the world to know why men don’t cry in front of others.

It isn’t something we are proud of,  but it is high time we reveal the truth and then and only then can we finally get in touch with our feminine side.

Please be warned this is a very disturbing video and for those of you who would like to join in and send in your videos here at MOB,  so that you too can finally rid yourself of this deep secret, that many of us hold tight within ourselves to the grave.

So free yourself and send in you own videos, it is a freeing feeling that we should all be proud of and no longer hide.

We like to thank Wilbur McNoodle for sending in this compelling look at the inner sanctum of men shedding tears.

What a real man looks like when he cries:

The other main reason why most men will never reveal a true heart wrenching cry, is because like Wilbur it was exploited and used to sell products. Just SHAMEFUL. (also disturbing that Popeye’s could ever think of running out of chicken, MY GOD!!!)

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She dumped you. And now you’re contemplating a patriot’s death, hurling yourself onto your own sword — except you don’t own a sword, and your Swiss army knife would merely leave you maimed. Plus, you’re plagued by irrational thoughts about unfinished business (read: unreturned DVDs) and an afterlife of embarrassment (read: your adult comics stash).

Sure, a girl can curl up with a Bridget Jones’s Diary marathon and a quart of Chunky Monkey after a breakup. But what are you supposed to do?

Triumph, that’s what. Because that’s what you do. Here’s how:

1. Get some sleep.

The z’s are the first thing that go: You lie in bed, thrashing around, dreaming up coulda/shoulda/woulda scenarios. The next morning, you feel tortured, tired and lonely.

But like it does for many other conditions, sleep can help spur the recovery process, so you want to make sure you get your share. Here’s how:

• Tire yourself out as much as you can during the day.
• Resist the urge to pull down the shades and sleep indefinitely (or you’ll find yourself up all night watching “Tool Academy” reruns and kitchen appliance infomercials).
• Can’t stop your brain when you finally lie down? Try safe, natural homeopathy Coffea, a sleep aid.
• If all else fails, a little pharma help might be the way to go: If the over-the-counter stuff leaves you groggy and sedated, beg your doc for just three or four days’ worth of prescription sleep medication. That way, for at least eight of the day’s 24 hours, you won’t be writhing in emotional pain.

2. Get a baby sitter.

If you hit the town, have a strong, dedicated wingman who won’t let you out of his sight and will make sure you don’t get in a fight or end up crying on the shoulder of some girls you just met on the waiting line for the bathroom.

3. Lose her data.

Think ahead and take steps to ensure that in a moment of weakness (when you are tired, sad, lonely or any other of the 500 variations), you can’t write or call her and leave a message that will get you arrested or humiliated for the rest of your life. Delete her digits and email address(es) from all binary and tree-product storage (and make sure to hit those places you used to hide things from yourself).

4. Resist revenge.

You’re itching to call her co-worker who flirted shamelessly with you at your ex’s last Christmas party. But be the bigger man. This “pool of prohibited women” includes her younger sister, her MILF-y stepmom, her buxom neighbor … you get the point.

5. Avoid music.

Don’t avoid all music — just John Jackson, Lionel Richie, Celine Dion and Frank Sinatra … all that sappy easy listening you indulge in when no one else is around. You know, the songs that include messages about “being nothing without you” and “If you don’t come back, I’ll die.” In fact, temporarily delete all such songs/albums/playlists from your iPod and stick with Metallica- and Kid Rock-type fare at all times. Swing music or a cappella will do in a pinch.

6. Launch you 2.0

OK, so you’ve done all the above to control the damage. So what do you do now?

First, join a dating Web site ASAP. There are, like, millions of single girls out there. So when you hear yourself start whimpering that she was the only one, get off your pity pot and cruise over to match.com.

And finally, hit the gym … with a vengeance. Funnel all that breakup angst into a Herculean upper body workout. After all, there’s nothing more therapeutic than looking strong and lean and confident to get other girls to notice you, pump up your ego and — when you finally run into her — get this ex to start doubting her judgment for giving the boot to a hunk like you.

But by then, of course, it will be too late, since you will have already moved on.

Saw this last night on Jimmy Kimmel.

While everyone else at the Oscars he got together Matthew McConaughey, Rob Lowe, Patrick Dempsey, Tony Romo, Taye Diggs, Keith Urban, Gilles Marini, Jon Krasinksi, Sting, Ben Affleck, Matt Damon to name a few – to be part of his Handsome Men’s Club for a post-Oscar sketch last night.

For most of the readers to MOB, you are now well aware I am and have been a professional men’s image consultant for many many years. Basically I show and teach men how and what to wear, as most of us men are not to fashion conscious. Actually most men are apathetic to what they choose to wear.

The same cannot be said about the fairer sex. Why is it the malls of our great nation are devoted to almost an 80% occupancy of women’s clothing stores. Men might have two or three stores to choose from. Dress is just not important to us. Why is it important to women and not for men?

During my career I have seen the dumbing down of America’s Men’s Dress Code in the workforce from the obligatory suit and tie, to a tee/polo shirt and jeans during office work hours.

This is truly a shame and one that doesn’t look to revert in the near future. Our job requirements have been upgraded to include all employees must posses a minimum educational standard. That standard consists of earning a Bachelors of Art or Science and in many cases a Masters, in order to collect their first paycheck.  So why do most large and small employers have no minimum dress code standard? They use to back when the economy was thriving. Maybe there is a correlation, maybe not.

To walk into a job interview in a pair of sandals and shorts would be considered suicidal, but hell, once they hire you stick that suit back into the rear of the closet, whence it came.

I feel and have always felt, that when I  interact with a professional person, his or her first impression tells me a lot on how I will come to feel and trust that person. There are still a few professions that a suit and tie is still the standard. For example

If I happened to be standing in court in front of a judge or jury, you bet your sweet ass my consular will be in a suit and tie. Can you imagine trying to win your case being represented by a person in a Ed Hardy Tee, a torn pair of True Religion denim jeans and sporting a pair of new Converse sneakers? And the real kicker is that the above mentioned wardrobe would cost the same as wearing a custom made suit by Hart, Schaffner and Marx, the very same suit that our President wears. It Just Doesn’t Make Sense!

Which Vinny Would You Want To Defend You?

Dressing well doesn’t mean fancy or over-the-top. It means tasteful simple. The dress casual person, who works diligently at his chosen profession do better then his counterpart who is dressed in a well made suit? I doubt there are any statistics that support this question on either side.  But I can tell you the difference on how a man feels about himself when he leaves me after a consultation donning a new suit, shirt and tie. He feels confident, he feels better about himself and those around him without a doubt look at him in a different light. Being in a suit shows others you respect yourself, therefore without a single word being uttered, those he comes in contact with will give him that same respect back.

The only thing a man has in his wardrobe that conotates authority and respect is a suit. The only thing close to a historical measurement of class and civility is a suit. The name in and of itself “suit” has one meaning that is derived from a “suit of armor”,  the one thing a man wore to defend himself against his enemy during ancient battle.

Imagine visiting the Queen and witnessing the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace with men in polo shirts and khakis or seeing the most holy Pope without the Swiss Guards in their flamboyant display of dress. I know I am taking this to the extreme, but come on folks what has happened to our innate sense of decorum.

When a man can roll out of bed and pick out the days wardrobe without even opening his eyes. Remember men are lucky if they can coordinate colors that match, let alone take an extra minute to inspect their pants to be without holes.

Of course there are many professions where putting on a suit is ridiculous, and in some cases down right dangerous. I am not talking to THAT PERSON. I am imploring the other 50% or more of men who have the ability and the position to dress appropriately.

Guys,  start a reverse trend and instead of having a Casual Friday, (which turned into casual everyday), start off Monday with that very same suit you got hired in. See what happens. See the comments that are made to you.

I know your employer would not mind, hell he might even remember your name now. I know your clients will surely approve of your new look. And most of all the women you come in contact with, will come to appreciate you more. But ultimately the person who will gain from this will be you. See if maybe, just maybe, you can make a difference one button at a time.

Just remember guys, A well dressed Vinny got to go home with Marisa!

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The following five part series was posted on my first men’s blog almost a year ago. But because no one ever got to see them, I wanted to bring them back for a wider audience. And also because I spent quite a bit on time on this subject which is as relevant today as it was a year ago. Enjoy

Being in the men’s fashion industry gives me a unique perspective on the way men dress and how it directly affects the perception by a perspective employer. In today’s job market, competition is at an all time high with very few opportunities to land an interview, let alone being hired. The following 5 blog entries will deal with the essentials for that all important interview.

It is said that Will Rogers once remarked, ‘You never get a second chance to make a first impression’. The importance of your first encounter with an organization that you are applying for employment should always be a professional one. People make a judgment about you and how they will interact based on your clothes … A person will size you up in a matter of 15 seconds as you walk into the room. … Recruiters form a first impression within the first 30 seconds that being said. You will impress upon them what kind of person you are by how you are dressed.

Employers want to see that job candidates have made the effort to dress appropriately for the work environment, said Katherine Spencer Lee, executive director of Robert Half Technology. While a suit isn’t the best choice for every interview, it’s better to err on the side of overdressing versus appearing too casual.

In a recent study the Ivo Pilar Institute of Social Sciences stated:

The greatest part of the research on the influence of clothes on impression formation and management was conducted in business situations and is related to conventional or classic clothing style. These studies have shown that the applicant’s clothing at interview has an influence on whether he or she will get a job, and that classically or conventionally dressed people are more positively evaluated. Classic or conventional clothing includes a suit for both men and women and a tie for men. It has been proven that this style of clothing is associated with competence and authority in both men and women, not only in business situations.

The tie:

Become smarter by wearing a tie! While this sounds crazy at face value the same research attributed the following by simply adding a tie to your outfit:

‘It’s established that men with high educational level significantly more frequently wore a tie than men with medium and lower education at usual work days, business meetings, cultural events, travel by plane, and travel by other means of transportation. Besides that, at weddings, funerals, festive, and family gatherings, men with high educational level significantly more frequently wore a tie than men with lower educational level. Men with medium educational level on average wore a tie significantly more often than men with lower education level.’

Who would have thought that silk would improve your perceived IQ?

Not to mention the added benefit to a man’s image to the opposite sex.

Women significantly more than men attributed successfulness, capability, physical attractiveness, and romantic characteristics to men who frequently wear a tie.

Finally the tie is the article of clothing that gets noticed first. Therefore the importance of choosing the right tie is critical. The tie projects your personality. But for a professional interview keeping subtle and conservative will bode well for success. Leave your Bart Simpson or Flintstone tie at home. A simple two color stripe will do fine, try to match either the background or one of the stripes to the color of your suit.

If you can introduce red into the tie, good, it is attributed as a Power Tie. (Exactly what is a Power Tie is open for discussion, that being said if you do a Google search for Power Tie you will come across merely 14 million answers) Stay away from a solid color (Donald Trump), stripes or a simple pattern will give the interviewer a sample of your personality. Stay way from extremes in width and make sure your knot as the appropriate dimple. Depending on the width of the collar on your shirt the knot should correspond accordingly. If you are wearing a spread collar a full Windsor is the best knot. A button down collar stay with a half Windsor or four-in-hand. To learn how to tie your knot, click on here to go to links for You Tube videos and PRACTICE. One last piece of advice, make sure you wear either a new or well cared for tie, visible dirt and snags will bring unwanted attention.

An absolute MUST video for all men to watch, and ladies too, to help your man DRESS in a suit. It’s quick and packed with solid great information.

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Last week I had the privilege to sit down with two upbeat guys,  who are doing more for the men’s neck wear business then many of the finer,  upscale men’s clothiers from around the country. How might you ask?

It started up as an office prank and now it is flourishing into a fun daily ritual. It is also enticing the younger generation back into the fold of the time honored tradition of wearing a neck tie to the office.

Full of light hearted humor brought about by the  posting of two daily pictures of themselves, sporting a different tie each day. Jon Fruman and Ryan Brown, co-founders of www.TieOrDie.com are enjoying  great feedback, a daily voting contest and more importantly, interest from guys who normally don’t don neck wear.

For myself, it is very gratifying to see these two young guys chipping away at the last two decades of the unsightly hangover, corporate America introduced with the dumbing down of Casual Fridays.

Here in their words,  is the interview.

Who in the world are you?
Jon Fruman and Ryan Brown, co-founders of www.TieOrDie.com. Just two dudes trying to figure out what we should be wearing.

What in heaven’s name is Tie Or Die?
It’s a one-on-one Who Wore It Best competition amongst two coworker-friends who happen to be both really competitive and total exhibitionists. Each day of October we have to wear a different tie, and the general public votes to decide who “pulled it off” the best that day. There are a few simple ground rules and an interesting punishment for the loser at the end of the month.

And what might that punishment be?
“The Winner will be able to choose a full outfit of attire to be worn by The Loser on the day of The Winner’s choosing. And the Loser has to go tanning wearing only a tie and undies – so that every time he looks at himself naked in the mirror, he may be reminded that he should have tried just a little bit harder.”

Is the loser really going to go through with the punishment?
Keep checking in as we head into the second half of the month. When this is all said and done, you can bet your best Burberry tie that there will be photographic evidence of the loser’s punishment up on the site.

How did you guys come up with this site?
We both work in advertising and the casual setting doesn’t require a tie day-to-day. Ryan claimed he has enough ties to wear a different one each day of the month, but that he never has the opportunity to show them off. Jon challenged him to go through with it, and even opted to go head-to-head with him throughout the month. One day’s hare-brained scheme amongst a few guys turned into a neat little website with a growing fan base – literally overnight. Our friends from work, Mike Park and Mike McAllister, designed and built the site, and they’re the only ones who know which of us is winning the competition.

What are you hoping to get out of this?
Some attention, and maybe some girls. Mostly girls. Hook a brother up!

What’s the best thing about this experience?
Knowing that a ton of people are getting a kick out of it. We like to entertain.

What’s the worst thing?
Trying to pick out an outfit each night or morning that you know is going to be criticized by 500+ people that day.

And have you learned anything through all of this so far?
We’ve learned that – apparently – a great deal of people take interest in some young men attempting to dress like grown men. And that perhaps the best way to survive the critical masses is to keep them amused. Oh yeah, and we also learned from one of the Man Over Board posts that we could be tying our ties better. Good looking out!

What are you guys going to do in November?
Go tie-less.

No, I mean on the website?
Oh, right. We’re not sure yet. Hell, we’re not even sure what we’re going to wear to work tomorrow. But we’ll come up with something worth your while.

Thanks guys, by the way did you know Jon you have ketchup in the middle of your purple paisley?

For a good laugh and to help promote the beautification of today’s youth, don’t forget to click here and cast your vote. TIE or DIE We will surely let you know at the end of the month who the big winner is,  Jon or Ryan. Seems to me, both are already winners!!

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Just a reminder folks, that our blog has another great blog built into it. Called Men’s Life Today, where great articles are being written weekly, like the one here for your reading pleasure. This post comes from one of the best writers on the net today Mike Hammer, the former editor of Maxim. As always we appreciate your stopping by to see us here at MOB.

Where can you find a better blueprint for life than the movies? These days we look to cinematic fiction for answers to life’s most perplexing questions, such as, Where else can an over-the-hill fat dude like Jack Nicholson be paid zillions to parody himself again?

Ah, but we digress. Educationally speaking, the movies don’t just lecture you like a burned-out, tenured professor: They put you in the action. Plus the movies can out-multimedia just about any lecture class. Watch enough of the right flicks, and you may just qualify for a degree in business, politics, sociology — even grifting. And think how far all that will go when time comes to make career choices, sound witty at social mixers and impress a worthy lady.

Yes, Cinema U is officially in session. These flicks are packed with smart bombs that’ll serve you well for the rest of your life. Watch and learn:

Shanghai

Check It out: September 4
John Cusack is a U.S. intelligence operative desperately trying to find his missing American buddy in Shanghai just days before the Japanese bomb Pearl Harbor. As he frantically tries to find his friend, the search is complicated by local gangsters, Japanese invaders, a Chinese chick (Gon Li) who runs sweet and sour on him, and the realization that he’s not sure he can trust his own government.

The Smart Bomb
Cusack’s undercover navigation of pre-war Shanghai reveals a fascinating, culturally rich — but also slightly seamy — melting-pot community we never knew existed. The film shows that pre-World War II Shanghai was an international community of refugees, artists, spies, and best of all, breathtakingly beautiful Gon Lis.

Also …
Creativity cannot be stifled. Shanghai’s international community was the birthplace of China’s thriving film industry, which was squashed by the Japanese occupation during the war. The industry clandestinely slipped out of what became Red China and off to Hong Kong to give birth to the careers of our favorite imports: Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan.

Whiteout

Check It out: September 11
Based on the wildly popular 1998 graphic novel, Whiteout is the story of the world’s hottest United States marshal (Kate Beckinsale), who is, um, hot on the trail of the first and only serial killer in the world’s coldest place, Antarctica. The problem? Winter is only three days away (so forget about seeing Kate slip into a bikini at the polar ice cap). Also, with winter come six months of darkness … in which she would be stuck with the Abominable Snowciopath.

The Smart Bomb
Geography meets criminal justice studies meets ice-onography. The story offers the eye-opening and groin-freezing scenario in which we see how U.S. marshals are the only law enforcement agency charged with protecting the world’s largest and least inviting continent. When Carrie Stetko (Beckinsale) is sent to the most isolated, barren and scariest landmass on earth to shut down a serial killer terrorizing a U.S. research base, she has to do it in temperatures that drop to 120 F below 0, winds that will rip your skin off at up to 200 mph and a serious absence of backup when the bodies begin to pile up — all of which leads us to wonder who her high school career counselor was.

Also …
In the original graphic novel, Stetko was a little overweight and got a bit of help from a female U.N. investigator … with whom (it was implied) she melts a little ice. In the film, though, the investigator is a dude (actor Garbiel Macht). Maybe we should go back to using comics as reference books.

The Informant

Check It out: September 18
Mark Whitacre (Matt Damon) was bored working at an Illinois food processing company. So, more to make himself feel important than to actually help anybody, Whitacre goes undercover for the FBI to uncover his company’s massive price-fixing scandal — while he’s in the midst of stealing $9 million bucks himself. True story.

The Smart Bomb
Aside from focusing on Whitacre’s clueless efforts to be a hero, this story offers riveting detail about how the food industry holds not only your tummy hostage but also your wallet. In real life, Whitacre wore a wire for three years and helped record video footage of high-level meetings, where execs conspired with each other to set food additive prices well above market value so they could stuff their pockets as you stuff your face.

Also …
Elaborate FBI stings follow white-collar crime everywhere — even in boring industries. That’s right: Somebody’s making dough by charging too much for, um, dough. So if you’re jacking up the sugar packets at your local 7-Eleven, watch your back, Jack. And if you’re going to be an informant, you may want to avoid being a thief while working for the man. Whitacre’s prison term was three times longer than that of the guys he helped nab.

Capitalism: A Love Story

Check It out: September 23
Michael Moore, that hefty dude with the baseball cap and suspicious nature,  celebrates the 20th anniversary of his breakout film Roger & Me — about the suspicious collapse of the auto industry — with a new film about the suspicious collapse of the overall economy. The new flick takes a comical look at the corporate and political high jinks that culminated in what Moore has described as “the biggest robbery in the history of this country”: the massive transfer of U.S. taxpayer money to private financial institutions to bail out fat guys with billion-dollar bonuses.

The Smart Bomb
Forget smart bomb — this one’s an all-out genius bomb: A study of economics, politics, business and thievery all in one! Were this one to translate to college credits, you could cash it in for a quadruple major.

As in his previous documentaries, Moore blindsides his targets when they least expect it. Here, he corners top corporate and banking executives as they fly to their private islands on personal jets that they bankrolled with bonuses they set aside for themselves — despite managing funds that bankrupted investors. Then Moore gets them to not explain how they can live with themselves on our money.

Also …
Moore details how these guys siphoned funds, pensions, savings and more while the people who trusted them with their life savings went broke. So if you’re up to no good, you may want to stay on Moore’s good side.

More Than a Game

Check It out: October 2
This documentary follows five poor kids from Akron, Ohio, through their high school hoop careers. Not unusual, except when you consider that one, LeBron James, has gone on to become the world’s best player and that they wind up playing for the national championship.

The Smart Bomb
The kids are shown dealing with the pressures of poverty, publicity that comes with competing in the national media spotlight and the heat from that spotlight intensified 100 times because James has been earmarked by the media — and NBA scouts — as the best high school player in the cosmos. But despiteeverybody wanting to get their hands on James, nobody is able to pull these five guys apart. Even when James is banned from a game for allegedly accepting the gift of a car (a no-no he was later cleared of), the kids rely on the bond they formed in Akron to keep them together and help them achieve their individual goals — as a team.

Also …
Be true and loyal to your friends, and teamwork will always win out. (Of course, it’s easy to win games with LeBron James on your team.)

Mike Hammer is a writer and former editor of Maxim, Stuff andShock. He can glean profound lessons just by watching a bubble gum commercial.

Dealing with men everyday at my job keeps my perspective keen in regards to what they are looking for. Many men have no idea how a suit should fit them and even less knowledge on the material and craftsmanship. I feel most days I am mostly a teacher and friend.

Becoming friends with someone has always been one of my strong attributes, as for the later I am a patience teacher and believe a good one at that. Whether someone buys a suit from me or not, once they leave, I know that they are better equipped. And when they do go to other establishments to find a suit or jacket, it is gratifying that the knowledge I imparted to them will help them greatly in making a good decision.

There is so much information on the internet, in magazines, and various other publications, TV and radio, on and on. It can overwhelm the brain. I could go over many does and don’t, (which if you already started reading this blog already have imparted some to you}. The bottom line is how well the clothing you bought feels and looks on YOU.

If you feel insecure, no $5000 Armani suit will help you. As I always say to my clients “You wear the suit, don’t let the suit wear you”

A growing trend as developed in the last year, younger men starting to dress up more, especially suits. The trend of the 80’s and casual Fridays are becoming more of the past rather then what the future is. To me it is a cyclical cycle, although varying in degrees (hopefully the polyester leisure suit is gone for good).

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